No one should be a widow this young

I was able to participate in a ride for a young veteran today to honor him and escort him to his final resting place.  I have had the chance to go on several of these rides that honor the brave men and women who have fought to protect the freedoms we enjoy (and often take for granted) every day.  Most of the time it has been for a veteran who has lived to old age and passed from natural causes.  Today was the first time I have ever ridden on behalf of someone deemed KIA (Killed in Action).  As we gathered to stand in a flag line to show honor, respect, and support for people attending the funeral services things felt the same as usual.  For me it can be a time of reflection where I remember the many who have served to give me, a stranger, the chance to enjoy the peace and freedoms I do.  

As the funeral services began inside the funeral home we had the chance to sit back with one another and talk about various different topics.  It's a nice time to build upon the relationships already established through going on missions as well as cultivate new relationships with new found friends who share a common desire to show respect to those who have served.  Looking around at the various people it's amazing to see them all come together in unity for a good common cause.  

The time finally came for the funeral services to end, the casket to be brought out, and for us to stand in honor of the young man.  We lined up and stood at attention as the pall bearers brought the casket out and loaded it into the hearse.  After the casket came the widow of this young man along with the rest of the family.  As I watched the tears flowing and comfort being given a thought entered into my mind that was new to me and stuck with me the rest of the mission. 

"No one should be a widow this young."

Working in the hospice field I am constantly around people who are preparing for or in the process of leaving this life for the great beyond.  The vast majority of these are people who have lived long lives and had a lot of wonderful experiences.  They have raised their children, watched them grow to have families of their own, and been able to spend decades with the one they love.  No one would be surprised to hear them say they are a widow.  It's one of those things that you kind of expect to come with the older generation of people.  

But this was very different.  Of course whenever there is a young person who dies it tends to be a little different and just a little harder.  Standing there watching this young lady with red eyes and tear streaked cheeks with her young child nearby, my heart went out to her and the thought just kept repeating, "No one should be a widow this young."  I started thinking about the future this young widow and child were facing and my heart was touched and my eyes watered with tears of compassion for them.  I wanted to reach out and envelop them in a protective shield of love and help them to take away the pain, anguish, sorrow and despair.  That's what I wished I could do.  Instead I stood with others and offered my support in silent respect.

The mission continued with us riding as an escort to the cemetery.  As with other missions we stood in a flag line while the coffin was brought to the final resting place and then we surrounded the family again in silent respect as the military honors were provided.  Again my eyes began to water as I watched the family place flowers on the casket as a final tribute.  At the announcement the graveside services were completed we gathered to discuss the mission and find those who wanted to participate in presenting a "loving bear" to the widow and her child.  As we gathered around them and presented them with the bear again the thought came, "No one should be a widow this young." 

After the bear was presented, one by one we took our turns to embrace this young widow and offer our final words of support and comfort.  Sitting nearby was grandmother who also requested hugs. Imagine a line of leather clad bikers lined up to provide comfort to this young woman and then kneel and hug grandma. As my time came I offered my embrace and said the only word that came to mind, "Sorry."  I looked into her teary eyes one last time and as I moved away toward the grandmother again, "No one should be a widow this young."  I knelt down and took the grandmother in a comforting embrace and I heard her whisper, "This is so sweet.  Thank you all so much."  "It's an honor," was my reply.  

Wearing sunglasses with a dark tint comes in handy at times and this was one of them.  Walking away from the family and toward the place where the bikes were parked I took a deep breath in, reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes and softly said, "No one should be a widow this young."