Compared to who?

"Oh my gosh!  Did you see John's Facebook post?!"
"I was checking out some photos on William's Instagram . . ."
"Did you see the Tweet from Martin?"

Today these are all common statements that have found a place in our society.  The ability to connect with people all over the world in an instant has opened the doors for us to compare ourselves with a number of people never available to us before.  We often take the various aspects of our lives and with a few clicks and brief messages we create in our minds a fantasy world of people we have never even seen or talked to before and begin to compare how our poor excuse for a life compares to others.  Here's a picture of a perfect family on vacation with everyone smiling and having a good time while in the next room my kids are yelling at each other and it's all I can do to keep from going crazy on them.  Here's another picture of a beautiful home with not a hint of dust or disorder while in my home I can't remember if I have carpet or hardwood floors because it's been so long since I've seen them.  And ultimately, there is the picture of the person who has all of their ducks lined up, looking pristine, and as though they have found all the answers to life while I'm still in my pajamas because I was too tired to change before dropping the kids off to school and my hair has become a very attractive prospect to the birds hanging outside of the house.

"Oh if I could only be more like them" or, "If I could only look like that" are phrases that skitter across our minds as we admire the almost perfect dinner that was prepared in under 3 minutes while the laundry is being folded and pressed by someone that makes Martha Stewart look like Oscar from The Odd Couple.  Sometimes we even begin to think that somehow we are less important or of less worth than someone else and therefore don't deserve to have the good things in life like they do.  We say we can't accomplish what they have, can't look like they do, and can't be who they are.  And I say you're right.  You can't.  Then again, they can't do all that you do either.

You see, your mother was right about something.  You are special and unique.  Now, of course, the rest of the world is special and unique too so you're just like everyone else.  This view can be somewhat disheartening until we truly understand what it means and just how unique and special we are.

Say I was going to make a movie of your life called "The Life of (insert your name here)."  I'm going to go to Hollywood and Los Angeles, out to New York, and all the way to Bollywood in India to find the absolute best actors or actresses to come and audition for the part of you.  Now I want to really get this role down so I'm going to give them all a chance to follow you around for the next year.  This will really get annoying for you having so many people following you around but it's for the good of the movie so you'll bear with it.  They will be watching your every move, studying your little quirks, trying to get the voice just right and learn to channel their inner version of you.  About the time you're ready to call it quits the year is up and it's time for the auditions.

Sitting in the room is me, the director, a producer and of course you, as the resident expert on you.  We line up all these wonderfully talented people and call in the first one.  They approach the stage (imagine your favorite actor/actress) and we announce we are here for the audition to play you in the upcoming movie.  The only direction we give them is to be you.  ACTION!  They all take their turns showing their best imitation of you with all the quirks, oddities, awesomeness, and greatness that is found within you.  Some of them go a bit overboard and try to improvise a few added things thinking it will give them an edge, unknowingly decreasing their chances of landing the role.  After many days of sitting and watching some of the world's best performers, we finally come down to the last one and they finish their audition.  Now over the last few days we have seen some incredible talent displayed before us and we know it's going to be hard to choose just one.  Yet, there is one more audition to take place.  Yes, we call up YOU!  "Okay," we say.  "Go ahead and get up there and when we make the call you be you."  Somewhat confused you make your way to the stage and prepare.  ACTION! the call comes and we all stare at you as you look back at us.  After just a few minutes we call CUT!  We all take a moment and look at each other and begin singing praises about how great you did you.  From the confusion to the staring to the awkward stance and insecurities about what to do with your hands.  It was absolutely amazing.  We all agree you get the part because, after all, no one can be you better than you.

This is what happens when we begin to compare ourselves to others and start thinking we can't measure up.  Just as the best actors and actresses in the world can never portray you as well as you can, we can never be someone else as well as they can.  Imagine that!  With all your faults, quirks, shortcomings, flaws, and imperfections there is no one who can be you better than you.  That means no one can have your awesomeness, greatness, talents, thoughts, feelings, and ideas as well as you can.  You truly are unique and can't be duplicated.  You are you alone and you have total control over how you think about yourself and what you do with those thoughts.  One can decide to compare their blooper reels to the highlight reels of the social media world and feel as though you never measure up.  Or you can look at yourself in the mirror and realize no one can measure up to you.