Illusions of Life

One of the things I really enjoy doing is riding my motorcycle.  It's quite relaxing (when cars aren't trying to run you over) and there is something almost meditative about the experience.  The other day I was riding home in the evening from work and looked over at my shadow that was being cast upon the ground and the barrier on the freeway.  It was mesmerizing to me to see how smooth it seemed to be going, how evenly it moved, and how almost peaceful it appeared to be. 

Forward a couple of days later and I was walking with my wife and we were talking about some recent events and experiences.  We started talking about social media and the influence it has on our lives.  As we were talking I thought back to my ride home and the experience with my shadow.  I began to realize how much social media is like my shadow. 

Social media has done a lot to "bring people together" over the years.  I personally have been able to reconnect with some people from high school, college and graduate school and find it easy to keep in contact with them this way.  Families who are living away from each other have simple ways to keep each other informed on what's happening in their lives.  There are some very positive aspects of social media and the technology that we have today.  And just as with other technologies that have improved our lives, there are downsides as well. 

If someone were to come along side me riding my motorcycle and all they saw was my shadow, they might be under the impression that I'm on a very smooth and easy ride with no challenges, struggles, or problems.  And so it is with social media.  Facebook pages, tweets, posts, etc. are simply a brief shadow of a moment in someone's life.  Most people don't care to post anything other than the best of their life leaving the impression their life is wonderful, smooth, and without any challenge.  Being on the motorcycle itself is like life.  As I ride, there are bumps in the road, wind buffeting my head and body, there is debris in the road, there are cars not paying attention (yes, I see you all texting and driving), and once in a while I'm lucky enough to catch a rock thrown somewhere at my body.  And this is like real life.  Everyone we meet is going through something we know nothing about.  Everyone we interact with is struggling with their own buffeting winds, rocks, debris, and other people that we don't really see.

For some reason we like to look at everyone else's life in order to judge ourselves on our progress through this journey of learning and experience.  We look at the posts people put up of their perfect family at the park and think to ourselves we are failing somehow because I'm trying hard not to wash my hands of my children at this moment.  We look at the post of the perfect husband or wife and think to ourselves that we have somewhat failed because while I love my spouse, I don't like them right now.  We see the post of the family on vacation in exotic locations with everyone smiling and having a good time and we think we have fallen short somehow because I can't even get my whole family in the car to go to church on time.  We look at the shadow of someone else's existence and compare that to the reality of our own lives and somehow feels as though we don't measure up.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  I don't know.  The funny thing is we wouldn't put up with that kind of behavior from anyone else and yet it's almost second nature for us to do it to ourselves.  I think we do ourselves a really poor service by acting like this.  I believe it would be a good thing for people to stop worrying so much about what others are posting and stop comparing yourselves to everyone else.  The fact is, you're not everyone else.  You're you.  And you're the best you that will ever exist.  So focus on being what you believe you should be and not what you believe everyone else thinks you should be.  Remember you have your own highlights in life and you can choose to enjoy them and focus on them.  If at some point you want to make a change in your life, do it for you.

So put down the phone, turn off the computer, and connect with another person in real life.  Enjoy the ride of your own life.  Even with the cars, buffeting winds, debris in the road, and occasional rock remember there are the incredible vistas, the beautiful sky above, the sunsets and sunrises, and the peace of wind to enjoy.