I have been a therapist going on 14 years now. With that in mind I must first admit to some bias when it comes to my opinion on therapy and whether or not it is beneficial. This will be written from such bias though I also try to keep in mind the reality of things. With that being said I'd like to talk about some of the myths I've heard surrounding the idea of therapy and therapist and offer some other viewpoints and truths that might help someone decide whether or not therapy is right for them. Keep in mind this will not be a complete list of all myths and thoughts that have been shared with me during my time helping others. If there are other questions I would encourage you to leave a comment or you can always reach me at www.innerpeacewc.com and leave your question there. With that being said (and the shameless plug being entered) let us commence on the journey of discovery into the unknown world of therapy and therapists.
Myth 1: I don't really have any major problems so I don't really see how I could benefit from therapy.
Truth: Honestly, that may be the case. If it is, I congratulate you. That is a great accomplishment in the world we live in today. Again, with bias I will say this, most of us are struggling with something that others don't really know about. Self-esteem, fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, grief, addiction, or any of a myriad of issues that we face. Sometimes the problem starts very small and gradually increases over time until it becomes a bigger problem. I have often found if I can begin to take care of a problem when it's small, it tends to be easier than waiting for it to become a bigger issue. The same can be said about the challenges we face in our lives.
Myth 2: I've tried therapy before and the therapist I went to didn't help me at all so it's just a waste of time.
Truth: I'm sure I'll offend some of my colleagues here. The fact is not all therapists are the same. There are some therapists out there who really probably shouldn't be a therapist. My hope is that this case is the exception rather than the rule. I don't want to focus on those. What I would like to address is that all therapists are not the same and some will fit better with you than others. Think about the last time you went shopping for something you really wanted. For this example I'll use a car. When you decided you wanted to buy a new car did you walk into the dealership, look at the first car you saw, and decided it was the one for you? Or was it more you started thinking about whether you wanted a sports car, an SUV, or a minivan, then you decided what make(s) of car you were going to consider, figured out what you wanted in the car, made a decision on the amount you were going to spend, and then finally went to the dealership(s) to find and test drive until you finally decided on the car you wanted? The same can be said about therapists. The most important part of therapy is going to be the relationship you have with your therapist. Just because you have a poor experience with one doesn't mean we're all equally as unfit to help you. Sometimes it can take a couple of tries to truly find a therapist that you feel is the one that will help you with your goals.
Myth 3: I talk with my best friend all the time so I don't really need therapy.
Truth: Best friends are wonderful and great and terrific. They care deeply about you and are invested in your life emotionally. This is why they aren't always the best ones to help you see things in a different light or in a different manner. Therapist go through years of training to help them develop the skills necessary to guide people through the challenges they are facing and can do so without any emotional attachment that will cloud their judgement. This doesn't mean that therapists don't have compassion and emotions. We can just keep an objective view when hearing problems. For instance, you go to your best friend because your other friend isn't being very kind to you right now. Your friend tells you it's not your fault and that this other person is missing out and does their best to help you feel better. This is great. It's not therapy. As a therapist we are trained to dig a little deeper and help you find a path through this challenge that will help you grow and improve yourself.
Myth 4: I don't want to be stuck going to therapy for years and years because it's too expensive.
Truth: Sad to say, there are some therapists that will have you continue to come back over and over even when it doesn't seem to be doing any good. They encourage you to go through insurance which will continue to pay so no worries and convince you it will be worth it. This goes hand-in-hand with Myth #2. Therapy shouldn't be about the therapists and what they think is right or wrong. Therapy is meant for you to deal with your struggles and challenges and you are the one who ultimately decides whether progress is being made or not and what goals you want to work on. I liken the therapeutic relationship to one of a pilot/co-pilot relationship. You are the pilot of your life and you get the ultimate decision (and take the ultimate responsibility) and the therapist is the one who offers guidance, suggestions, and ideas to help you find the path of success. The length of therapy is based on your desires, progress, and whether or not you have reached the goals you have in mind. Sometimes that may be a couple of sessions, other times it may take a longer amount of time. The hope is that your therapist and you constantly are in communication about your needs and desires and your therapy moves in the direction you desire for as long as you desire.
I know this isn't a complete list of the many questions and myths that about surrounding the idea of therapy. Please, if you have any others feel free to comment or contact me and I'll try to address any others that may be out there. And if you are thinking about therapy, I offer a free 30 minute consultation to answer any questions and help you decide if I might not be one that can help you.
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